The latest and greatest obsession of mine since my devotion to Glee concluded with the coming of the Christmas snow is about as far away as you can get from leg kicking numbers, Sue Slvyester witticisms and fit fit fit Finn.
The name of the game, ladies and gentlemen, is Jersey Shore (BITCH), aka the American equivalent to a stag do in Blackpool. It’s the ultimate reality scenario; MTV plonks 8 twenty-somethings in summertime chav capital “Jersey Shore’, aka the coastline of New Jersey. These aren’t just any young bright things though, we’re talking the uniquely All American subculture of perma-tanned, greasy haired “Guidos’ and “Guidettes’.
Take 4 men and 4 women of Italian-American descent, bake them until they’re a uniform walnut colour, apply liberal hair gel, pump up the boobs and bodies and deck out the whole shebang in diamante Ed Hardy shirts or booty shorts and you’ve got yourself a rowdy, randy set of Guidos. Mixed in with Jacuzzis a go go, all the shots you can muster, a touch of misogynistic violence and MTV have hit the reality spot again with a lethal cocktail ripe with the finest drama since the Spencer/Lauren standoff.
Probably the best bit about the whole thing is the amazing nicknames the cast have bestowed on themselves; dig among the wholly unimaginitive lads Pauly D, Ronnie and Vinny to find Mike, aka “The Situation.” Just one viewing of Jersey Shore makes sure you will never view this phrase in the same light (especially if shown in conjunction with the legendary drinking game http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=250449738638#/group.php?gid=222464180990&ref=ts ), as Mike entraps all females with an IQ of well below par in the Jersey Shore area with the resounding phrase “it’s the situation”, whether referring to his abs, his charm or little Mike. Ahem.
On the girl’s team, you’ve got to love boob-jobbed preying mantis “after I have sex with a guy, I bite their heads off” JWOWW, Sammi “Sweetheart” “aka the sweetest bitch you’ll ever meet“ and the legend that is Snooki, aka “Snickers” a pint sized bundle of boobs who looks like a cross between an Italian grandmother hooker and a hamster. She also acts as the punchbag; in one memorable episode a rowdy meathead punches her in the face after she tells him off for stealing her shot, in another, she gets charged by 3 hefty girls brought back by the ever sleazy "Situation". Unsurprisingly, MTV has faced a storm of controversy over the incident,and despite choosing not to show the punch on the show, type "Jersey Shore fight" into Youtube and the sickening incident is up for all to see.
MTV has also been ripped for perpetuating negative connotations about Italian Americans by encouraging the characters to live up to the expectations of their culture in a house decorated with red, white and green paraphernalia, However, let's be honest, this highly sexed, highly strung group aren't ever going to be the pin ups for youth culture. Personally I think it's a refreshing look at how young people actually live in America. I couldn't give a rat's arse anymore about the sterile lives of squeaky clean teens such as the Jonas brothers or Taylor Swift. Give me Jersey Shore's bedswapping and bitchslapping over celibacy rings and cookies anyday of the week.
I think there's a lot of people out there who agree, and one such example in particular caught my eye. Some legend has created this dedication to the sheer awesomeness of Snooki and unashamedly ripped IYAZ’s “Replay” at the same time.
It's so good, in fact, that to excuse the pun, I've got it on continual REPLAY at the moment.
Whilst I was scouring the web for all things Jersey Shore related, I also found this; bumbling alt teen idol Michael Cera voluntarily submitting himself for a Guido style makeover. Fan-bloody-tastic.
If, by this point, you haven't already succumbed to the succulent delights of the Shore, I urge you to get involved immediately.
Why?
Simple, really. It’s the Jersey Shore, BITTTTTCH!
© Miranda Thompson 2010
DISCLAIMER: The video links hosted on my blog are not being presented as my own. If you believe that the copyright in your work has been violated through this post, please contact me through the blog.
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