Let's Get It Over With

I'm just going to say it and then that will be it. World Cup starts soon. We will probably, definitely not win it - an opinion not borne simply of natural English pessimism but also because we're down Ferdinand and Beckham, and even I'm reasonably football literate enough to realise that's not so good.

Last night I spent the entire evening glued to ITV watching the footie. This wasn't just any football match, hooo nooo, this was the glorious Soccer Aid, set up by the increasingly crazy Robbie Williams in aid of Unicef.
The premise sees England take on the Rest of the World on the pitch with teams composed of football legends like Zidane and Alan Shearer alongside celebs like Mike Myers, Gordon Ramsay...and Jonathan Wilkes.

As well as 90 minutes of ball-kicking, you're completely guaranteed comedy moments, whether with the sarcastic commentaries "Great pass from Myers there, Zidane just couldn't control it" or the crapper celebs increasingly winding themselves up. Golden moments like Dominic Cooper's very girlie kicks spring to mind, or the throw-in by Heroes actor Jason Kyson Lee when it was supposed to be a corner kick. Oops.

Delicious eye candy like the elegant Damian Lewis and fuzzy-haired Michael Sheen (crush slightly ruined after Dad thought he looked like murderer Peter Sutcliffe) also helped the ticking minutes slip by until the ninetieth minute saw a 2-2 draw and the promise of a nail-biting penalty shoot-out ahead.

If you care enough I've popped the video in below, but let me tell you now that you should. The video is the epitome of increasingly hysterical celebrities stepping up to try and score in a seemingly never-ending series of penalties: the better ones go first until finally, knees knocking, the much more amateur of the bunch step up to the plate. Mike Myers rips off his trackies to have a go, that "hunk" from the Devil Wears Prada flails all over the place, and somewhat predictably, Dominic Cooper fails. What's completely shocking is the winning shot, and who takes it (clues: he first kicked a ball just 8 years ago, has been harassing kids in Battersea Park to play with him, is a massive movie star and has eyes more piercing than lasers...). Enjoy.



The imminent arrival of the World Cup means one thing for the music world: football anthems. I have to say I was bracing myself for another round of Vindaloo/Three lions laddishness. I wasn't disappointed.

Britain's' Got Talent Final was the showcase for the latest in novelty-yet-amazing choons, the probably inevitable collaboration of ultimate LADS Dizzee and Corden.
The song is a fantastic mashup of footy shouts (COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU THINK YOU'RE HARD ENOUGH), Tears for Fears AND Blackstreets's ayo ayo ayo ayooo riff offof No Diggity. Dizzee's lyrics are to die for:
"Come on England we need to sort it out,
Put the champs down,
Pull your finger out,
Leave the wags alone,
Set aside your ego,
We're tired of bragging about 40 odd years ago,
We need a victory, quick, fast!"

Put simply, it's bloody brilliant and exactly the kind of song this country's going to love to get pumped up to.


In other football-anthem-related news, I spotted this pic posted on Twitter of We Are Scientists in the studio recording their piss-take tune Goal England!



Originally recorded for Zane Lowe on Radio One, this is an indie romp which sounds like a manic game of football and the irresistibly catchy GOAL GOAL GOAL refrain. Top marks for making the effort lads.

COME ON ENGLAND!!!


© Miranda Thompson 2010.

We Are Scientists photo from Twitter account.

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