The latest in drop-dead-diva offerings has just pulled up on YouTube. The devilish combination of Beyonce and Lady (go away now) Gaga just conjures up images of sleek choreography, some mild soft porn-esque gyration with hawt backing dancers and a wardrobe of outfits your Blackpool transvestites would be gagging to get their paws on.
“Videophone” offers all that and more. A lot more. As if the outrageously sexual lyrics weren’t quite titillating enough – “What, you want me naked? If you liking this position you can tape it on your video phone” – Gaga and Beyonce send out a big, fat, friendly salute to the gun toting freaks crouching in America’s extremist corners by prancing around with a whole medley of different coloured plastic guns. And bows and arrows. And a man on a target pierced through with tens of arrows. Tastefully done girls.
At completely the opposite end of the spectrum, 50 Cent does his little best to put a domestic spin on the down and dirty world of hip hop and R’n’B Beyonce’s just trawled through the mud. OK, his new song may be suggesting you get sperminated by the man himself, but there’s minimal boob shots and no poledancing in his latest vid. Even Beyonce’s ex-Destiny’s band mate Kelly Rowland turns up in best babymama form.The highlight? Toddler triplets decked out in their best little woolly jumper combos.
One word. A-DORABLE.
If this is the future of hip hop, let’s hope its Fiddy who’s pushing the pram in a cleaner, and at very least gun free, direction rather than running off on Toys R Us sponsored gun spee. Bless his cotton socks.
© Miranda Thompson 2010
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